Last night on the way to picking up my daughter from the airport my wife and I got on the topic of how we all seem to desperately hold on to negative emotions even though they hurt us. And I began to compare that phenomenon to an analogous counterpart in nature. The most clear one for me, being that of holding on a burning IOU, in the form of a red hot piece of iron.
I find this one the most clear because it signifies that the victim is desperately holding on to this iou, or this debt that he feels he is owed, as if this type of opportunity is extremely rare and valuable, when too often the opposite is true. This type of subjective debt or the opportunity to create it, is far from rare. There is an opportunity around every corner to find another at fault for your struggles, to find them guilty of wrongdoing in some way that has affected you negatively and to impose the fine of humility upon them. Treating them as hostile until they pay through some humble and sincere act of contrition, but only if they do it voluntarily. This kind of opportunity is present anywhere you seek it.
The next question however, is what value is there in taking advantage of this kind of opportunity? How does it benefit us to create a one sided debt and demand payment with the threat of hostility until that payment is received? I’m not sure that everyone would answer that question similarly.
There are those among us though that have no problem with forcing others through fraudulent means to give them what they had not earned honestly. And yes, for those of this character, this seems to be of value, as it allows their parasitic tendencies to continue unobstructed. But for those who value freedom for themselves and others this is counter productive to that for as long as the host is not free of the parasite the parasite is equally not free of the host.
The human being is a very resourceful, imaginative and creative being . Even if you give him nothing but shit to work with he will find a way to use it to benefit himself if only in the short run. But when you are exposed to the amount of bullshit conditioning that is propagated in this utterly dysfunctional society it is easy to become a master at using shit to benefit yourself. The only thing that hinders most from this mastery is the contradictory conditioning that tells us we are bad people if we take advantage of these anti-values.
We are taught on one hand that it is fine to charge someone with the debt of humility if they wronged you in some way however, it is wrong to do the same when no wrong has been committed. Now who is it that determines whether an act is right, wrong or neutral? In this society it seems the victim has been made the authority in this regard. And other than when the case is brought to an actual court of law, the victim becomes Judge jury and executioner, and the accused is their own and only advocate.
The obvious question here is ‘what if the victim is wrong about the person that wronged them or further still, the alleged victim is in fact lying so as to create a debt as a means to get ahead?’ This question points to the possibility of fallibility or malicious intent and frankly it has been ignored by this society. However to answer the question we need but to observe our families and friends.
As I am sure you are all aware; This is how it works on the regular: An individual makes an insensitive remark in mixed company, and most present find it to be an ignorant slip up but without malice. However one or two find it offensive. Of those that find it innocuous one or more takes the perpetrator aside and tells them of their ignorant error and and is satisfied that they will likely not make that mistake again. On the other hand those that found it offensive will judge them to ignorant and disrespectful and hold that over them passive aggressively or just plain aggressive and hostily until they sincerely apologize which most informed would do, or until something occurs to show that the original act was more than made up for in other ways.
The point of the scenario was to show that in our society it is normal for the ignorant(and this includes us all), to be informed by those whom they do not offend and to be secretly despised those that they have offended unknowingly. And this disposition of the offended in regard to the perpetrator of the offence, is what can be clearly seen as a debt that the debtor is unaware of.
This is the hot rock that burns the holder, but through our conditioning we have become numb as a society and we have found value in holding onto things that hurt us. Things that shorten our lives rather than enrich them.
We have considered how holding on could have some twisted or anti-value to us. The question now is: what is the cost to the debt holder in this scenario if they do not let go? This is the question we too often fail to ask. But let us consider it now. I can see an immediate and lasting cost being the anguish of the bruised ego which is activated every time the perpetrator comes to mind and if this person normally runs in the same circles this can add up like the interest on a debt and could lead to the physical pain of a physical confrontation.
Let me inject here if I can my understanding of the true cause of pain. A good analogy is provided by Dr. Maxwell Maltz in his book Pyscho-Cybernetics and the updated version The New Pyscho-Cybernetics. He compares the human mind construct to that of the targeting computer on board a guided missile. Taking that along with Abraham Hicks’ assertion that when you feel pain the cause is being out of alignment with yourself or swimming against your natural flow. This self they speak of, that we are out of alignment with is our ideal self the one that has achieved all of our goals and has found true joy.
What Hicks is saying is that when you are focused on that ideal you are in alignment and to the degree and duration you are focused elsewhere you will likewise feel the resultant discord as negative emotions and physical pain.
For example using the guided missile analogy; if it is only a little off course an error signal causing a very slight adjustment will be sent to the rudder control mechanism. This is akin to feeling guilty for telling a white lie, or being pinched by a child; fairly easy to come back from. However, what happens when the missile is somehow heading 180 degrees away from the target? Then an error signal causing dramatic and drastic adjustments will be sent to the same rudder control mechanism. If we look at the amount of degrees we are off from the target as the degree to which our negative emotions will be charged, then we can see that this would be akin to the pain of a life or death struggle or the loss of a limb.
So, in summary pain and anguish are caused by moving away from your ideal self and pleasure and joy is moving towards your ideal self or your hopes and dreams.
So, with that understanding the cost of holding on to anything that causes you pain or anguish is the denying of one’s self the movement towards your hopes and dreams. And what is worth that.
As I mentioned before we , as a society have become numb to this type of pain writing it off as an inevitability. The thing about humans is that we have the ability to ignorant our pain by using perspective. We simply observe that there are others worse off than we and so our feelings must be off. Yes, we simply stop trusting or relying on our feelings for guidance. We are told to embrace the pain and use it and that being the victim is more leverageable than being honest. We use words like honor and courage to urge young people to deactivate their error detectors and race 180 degrees away from who they are meant to be.
There is an ancient saying “As above so below and as below so above”. This phenomenon in human behavior is affecting us on every level of our being and has led to the ascension of the lowest form of parasite to the highest heights of influence among us; those who make and enforce our laws.
To show how this trickles over into the economy, first of all as soon as you become a taxpaying citizen of any country you legally take on an equal portion of that country’s debt and are obliged to pay or be penalized with a larger portion. And if you refuse to fall in line you will be fined and eventually imprisoned.
How does this make rational sense, when the government of a country is little more than a security corporation which you pay to protect your property and your family. You should not be held responsible for their debt in fact the fact that some of these corporations have been running under great losses for more than a century, in a rational world, would have led to its quick demise but when the officers of that corporation are the parasitical types that I earlier mentioned, it is not hard to see how they could turn around and extort money from their clients, that’s you and me; the citizenry.
Sadder still is that now smaller businesses are starting to take the same approach. They are starting to randomly overcharge people hoping they don’t notice and when someone does notice they either pay them off to keep it quiet or ruin them in court.
We hear terms like “the victim was rewarded….” followed by some outrageous monetary figure, and growing up it was often the one who could convince others that they were somehow less fortunate that got their way. This has always just been the manipulation of humanity’s built in need to nurture the weak. It is the survival instinct gone awry.
We, as individuals move further from our dreams and from whom we could be if we just focused on that ideal. The proof in shown in how much poverty, disease and discontent there exists in this world of abundance. It is not that there is not more than enough good to go around it is that we have been convinced that it cannot be ours unless we become something we hate. And we, as society move closer to our extinction as we have allowed the morally bankrupt and least worthy among us to protect our property and our families and they have made slaves of us all.
In short it is obvious that to ignore the pain it causes and holding onto something that takes you outside of whom you aspire to be in not in anyone’s best interest and to allow corporations to charge someone with a debt without cause or even the so called debtors awareness is very far from fair and just and quite opposite to the government’s charge to serve and protect its citizens. However, this is the state of the world today and it can all be attributed to the phenomenon of holding onto things that hurt us or to what some have called victim consciousness
This is the cost of blindly following our conditioning instead of re conditioning ourselves to follow our hopes and dreams, our ideal self.
The point here is that we consider whether this is something we ourselves have done and how it made us feel and how it made others feel and whether or not it was worth the apology or the retribution or the financial come-up that victimhood affords, or was it all just the same valueless shit that we were fed during our years of conditioning?